MOM TALK MONDAY: BEST AGE GAP BETWEEN KIDS


So, I’ve got to know… what is the best age gap between your kids?
2 years? 2.5 years? 3 years? Or more?It’s  a little terrifying to think that I already have to plan out kid #2!! (insert eeeek face) But you just do! Especially if you want them gapped a certain age! Growing up me and my siblings are spaced 2 year apart and there is 5 of us! I always told myself I wanted to have my kids spaced 2 years apart too since I loved being close to age with my siblings!
But here we are, Edison is 14 months and that would mean I would need to get pregnant next month.. NEXT MONTH you guys!!
I’m in no way ready for that!

However, my husband feels that he is getting old (turning 33) and wants to keep our kids close in age without him being such an old dad. Which I totally understand since we potentially want to have 4 kids! Yep, a big family sounds like so much fun to us!! So, we most likely will get pregnant sometimes this year.
I think I would be happy with 2.5 years apart. Maybe 3, but I don’t think my husband would love that. He is ready now!!

Of course I have to consider the chances of infertility issues, which is so common these days, sadly. I would hate for that to happen to us and we have to wait 4 or more years for our second child. But considering we got pregnant on our first month trying with Edison, I have a feeling we are one of the lucky few who don’t have to undergo fertility testaments. I honestly feel for you mamas out there!!!!

So let me know, what is the most ideal age gap between your kids?
What was your favorite age gap with you and your siblings?
And lastly, is having 2 kids under 3 hard at the beginning and easy as they grow older?
Let me hear it all!!


Thanks for your advice mamas, I really appreciate it!!

xo, Camilla

Photography by B Couture Photography

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16 Comments

  1. Kristian
    January 15, 2018 / 10:05 am

    Oh man! Weird to think about second kids, but family planning is so important. Ultimately, I do think it is important to think about whether you are ready to have the next kid emotionally and physically as you want that child to be coming into the best possible situation. 2.5 years sounds good (and really those extra 6 months could really make a big difference at the beginning. Edison being a more confident walker and talking more might really be a big deal with a newborn!).

    My sister and I were 3 years apart and still extremely close. Most of the time we were still close enough for similar interests and yet, I could also babysit her, if my parents needed etc. We are thinking that age gap for our own kids, but you know your family best and what it needs. Good luck!

    • Camilla Thurman
      January 15, 2018 / 3:39 pm

      Thanks so much Kristian,

      I totally agree with you, at the end of the day we will of course do what is right for us. Just love getting some opinions.

      I also see your point with the extra 6 months. I do feel like Edison will surely grow right up!

      xo

  2. Stephanie
    January 15, 2018 / 7:27 pm

    Hi Camilla!
    So funny you wrote about this topic as my husband and I were literally talking about this an hour ago. I feel like I was reading the words that just came out of my mouth!!
    My son is going to be 14 months this month & originally I thought I wanted them 2 years apart. But mentally I really do not feel like I am ready yet. But then again are you ever actually ready for something like this?!
    Ultimately I think I would feel best if we waited till my son was 2 but my husband is ready like now. No advice but I’m in the same boat! I guess we will see!

    • Camilla Thurman
      January 17, 2018 / 10:40 pm

      haha we are in the exact same boat Stephanie! I totally feel exactly how you do. I wanted 2 years apart two.. but that two years is creeping up a lot faster than I could be ready for!

      Maybe we will be pregnant at the same time!

      xo

  3. Brandy
    January 15, 2018 / 7:42 pm

    My daughter was 14 months when I became pregnant with my second, though it wasn’t planned. We wanted a second baby but planned on waiting until our daughter turned 2.
    I was a bit thrown off because I had just stopped breastfeeding my first and was returning to work and feeling like myself again.
    Now that our second is 11 months I am happy we have that space because they are close in age and I’m getting the diapers, sleep schedules, potty training over within a couple of years.

    • Camilla Thurman
      January 17, 2018 / 10:41 pm

      I can totally see that being such a blessing too! Getting the rough phase over sooner sounds like a dream too! Thanks so much for sharing!

  4. Natalie
    January 15, 2018 / 8:15 pm

    Ahhh such a fun topic! Don’t worry too much about age, y’all are young!!! My hubby is turning 38 this year and we don’t even really think about that either haha guys can have kids so much later than us women I feel like! But seriously, age doesn’t matter 🙂 more importantly is do you feel like you got to get your body back for a bit? For me, we’re starting to think of baby #2 and our daughter is almost a year. But I didn’t nurse very long so I feel like I got to have my body back for a good long time and I could mentally handle the challenges of pregnancy again now! Haha either way, good luck to you guys! We actually dealt with infertility and cancer… my daughter Lyla is a rainbow baby and my hubby is now cancer free for almost a year! ❤️

    • Camilla Thurman
      January 17, 2018 / 10:43 pm

      Ahhh what an amazing story you have! That makes me so happy to hear. thank you so much for sharing. I can completely agree with you, It’s hard to say if I feel like I have had my body back for a good amount of time since I just quit BF. We will see how I feel in a few months.

      xo Camilla

  5. Heather
    January 15, 2018 / 11:31 pm

    Timing… So tricky. We are that couple you described above–we had our first within 2 months of trying, no problems. But when we started trying for #2 when our daughter turned one (I was hoping for 2 years apart), we struggled with infertility for the next 4 years. It was such a shock to me and so hard. Thankfully we got pregnant naturally last year and just barely had our second baby (such a blessing!!). So our kids are 5.5 years apart. It is not at all how I planned it, but sometimes the Lord’s timing is different from ours. I guess my two cents is this–first, it’s good to start trying if you think you’re ready because you never do know how long it’ll take. But secondly, make sure you’re ready!! As the mama you are the one both babies need attention from 24/7, and even with a 5.5 year gap, having more than one kid has been no joke. Ha. I haven’t experienced it personally but I feel having less than a two year gap would be rough. You’re still young so time is on your side, which is nice. Follow your gut based on what you think you can handle. Best of luck!!!

    • Camilla Thurman
      January 17, 2018 / 10:45 pm

      Thank you so much Heather. I really loved your advice you shared. And yes, I can’t imagine having to wait so much longer than what you had your mind set to! So happy you were able to have a baby naturally. Such a blessing!

  6. Yovanna
    January 16, 2018 / 9:11 am

    Totally got into the topic! haha I guess it depends… I’m 4 years apart from my brother and 8 from my sister and we are super close! but our parents raised us that way…
    In the other hand I’m a 30 year old married to a man who is 12 years older than me, and we have a 1 year old boy, so he was born at my 29 and I remember telling my mom in the middle of one non sleep night that I should have had him at my 23 haha because at that age is when you can handle way better the sleepless nights (although my boy slept through the hole night since he was two months)
    so I think the age matters; the kids deserve exciting parents who would actually play with them… my husband even at his age is such a child, so for instance last night the baby was ready to sleep but the dad needed more play time 🤦🏻‍♀️ still we are planning the next pregnancy for when our boy will be two and not using diapers anymore
    I only want two pregnancys, if God give us for more kids, I would rather adopt

    • Camilla Thurman
      January 17, 2018 / 10:48 pm

      This is so great! thank you so much for sharing Yovanna! I really appreciate it. I can totally see your side of it where age does truly matter. I feel like it does too. In our family, me and my husband are both the babies of the families. My husbands wants to make sure our kids know their grandparents, his passed away when he was a younger age and he didn’t get to have many memories of them. Which is another huge reason we would love to cram 4 kids in fast!

      xo Camilla

  7. Sarah
    January 16, 2018 / 11:41 am

    I’m right there with you on everything and have had all the same thoughts and concerns! My son turns 15 months tomorrow which means it is go time if we wanted kids 2 years apart, but neither my husband nor I feel like it’s the right time quite yet. We have had so much fun with our son and know that The dynamic in our home and the focus of our attentions will obviously shift with #2 so we’d like a little more time. Right now we’re planning to space them 3 years apart which would allow our son to maybe be potty trained, be talking more, and have the possibility of putting him in preschool around the time we have our second which would provide him a social and structured environment to get out of the house for a few days if we want while I’m in the newborn eat and sleep all day phase with the second. We are also keeping an open mind and know that if we feel we’re ready early we can always try earlier! I, too, am nervous about infertility problems with waiting that long but for now it feels right and since we got pregnant right away the first time I’m praying we will be lucky in the future. Sorry that was suuuuppper long winded but hopefully it’s what you were looking for!!!

    • Camilla Thurman
      January 17, 2018 / 10:50 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing Sarah! Yes, it really does sound like we are in the same boat! I love the idea of having the three year old out of diapers and yes in preschool for even just a few hours through out the day. It would still give you the chance to bond with the baby, like it’s your first!

      xo Camilla

  8. Stephani
    January 17, 2018 / 9:33 pm

    Sooooo I’ve been thinking about this same topic! I have no idea since i am in the same position as you! I know I want another baby and my hubby is a lot older than i am so I don’t want to wait too long… so I think 2 years is a good gap.. I think it’ll be challeninging in the beginning but when they’re a little bit older I feel it will be easier bc they have each other! I want to be pregnant again by March! Hahaha!!

    Xo, Steph
    @sassandsun

    • Camilla Thurman
      January 17, 2018 / 10:51 pm

      ahhhh! Right, it is such a tough subject to even think about. Growing up you hear the age gap of 2 years apart so often, but when it’s you who is the one getting pregnant it’s a total eye opener!

      Ha… we will see what happens!

      xo Camilla

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