It was just what I needed. Sometimes I find myself feeling caught up in the whole act of trying to impress, please, and perfect my Instagram feed that I seem to forget what really matters to me.
It's not like me to do this normally, but I'm beginning to learn it's better for me to get things off my chest by vocally sharing it. Things that are bothering me, or what's on my mind. If I do share with someone, I am less likely to have a little breakdown later down the road. It always seems that I hold stuff in until I have a breaking point. Because let's face it I think I husband is sick of seeing me crying all the time. :) Of course it is mostly all the crazy pregnancy hormones and now postpartum hormones that I have experienced over the past year. But enough is enough. So here it is..
Social media sucks some days!
And it seems like when 'it sucks' I find myself am not feeling 100% me. Though it shouldn't affect me, it does and I am not myself. My typical happy go lucky kind of girl!
So why is it that social media affects such a big part on my life? I still am trying to figure that out.
But this is a huge part of my life. It is my income, it is my passion, it is something I love doing and love setting high goals and expectations for. But I'll be honest, this whole Instagram algorithm is a pain in my butt. It can be sad, embarrassing, or down right disappointing when a photo I share via Instagram gets such little likes.
I feel like I have been working my ass (sorry for the language) off for almost three years, built a (what I feel like) decent following for what it seems as being unnoticed.
You're thinking, why do the number of likes matter??? And trust me I think that too.. but in reality we are only human. it's hard not to compare our numbers to other people and other peers. But in reality I am putting so much time and energy into this and hope to feel like what I am doing is going somewhere and progressing. I have tried very hard to not let it get to me, but every few months it seems like it is all I can think about. I see other bloggers who have less followers than I do and yet they get double or triple the amount of likes each photo. Or fly past me in followers. Sure, they may be spending 10 more hours in a week than I am, or they may be someone who purchases followers and likes (yes, this is a real thing and people do it.) I find it unfair. Unfair to people who bust it every day and hustle to get real, authentic followers. Unfair to brands and companies who think you have a higher engagement than what you really have. Unfair to yourself.
Social media seems to always have a high/low pattern to it. You feel you are doing great, feeling successful for a few months and then bam you have a few hard months. I have to remember that is just the same for everyone of you too. Not just in social media, but in life. You all have either started businesses, made high expectations in your work place and you will have those low moments too!! It's life.
It's just one thing to remember that it will soon pass! We can overcome anything if we have a good mindset about it. My husband brought up a good point. If we don't have hard moments in our workspace then we wont know how to improve or change things to make it better!
There is no one here to blame, I can't blame you followers, because I really do appreciate each and every one of you!
So even though I go through difficult times, I have to remember that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you!!
Of course, I have begun to notice that I don't appeal to all of you like I used to. Due to becoming pregnant and having a baby, a lot of you cannot relate to me on this new level. Which is okay, and is why I will still primarily be showcasing Fashion. After all, that is how I started, and that is what I will always share. I of course will begin to share more of my family, because they are my life. They are important to me. So I would hope that you as my followers will understand that.
I will also be sharing (part of my New Years Resolution) more beauty and travel.
After taking a much needed break on Instagram and all other social media platforms I learned a few things.
I can't let my numbers affect me!!! And I'm here to say, don't let it affect you either.
I just know, that next week I will be regretting sharing this post. Because all will be well again, and I won't even remember that I feel the way I do. But after talking with a close friend of mine. She shared something that really stuck with me. She said, since I just had a baby, I am home a lot more often, sitting on the couch and of course on my phone. So I notice my numbers. I notice everything. Where as before, I was busy busy busy and not paying that close attention. She couldn't be more right!! I never viewed it that way. I just chose to look at the glass half empty and chose to be a debby downer about it. (which is what I seem like right now) But I am here to tell you that, that is no longer happening from me. I am choosing to wake up each day with a smile on my face and choosing to look at the positive in everything I do.
Because at the end of the day if my family and friends love me, that's all that matters and I am happy!!